The Time Lindsay Held A Bear and I Wanted To Too Until It Threw Up On Himself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a true story as evidenced by the photos seen above. My friends and I were walking down Nevskii Prospect, crossing the Neva river when we spotted a baby bear. That’s right, a baby bear just chilling on a bench drinking orange juice from a bottle like it was toddler. Only in Russia. Ensorcelled by the baby bear we approached and inquired about the price to take a picture with the baby bear. It cost 200 Rubles or about $6.

The bear looked so sweet and innocent drinking its juice and given that it was Lindsay’s birthday, we decided that she must have a picture with it. I was a little concerned about both the safety of the bear and the safety of Lindsay but that did not stop me from snapping some great photo ops. The fact that he was drinking orange juice (something not even that healthy for humans), smelled as though he hadn’t been bathed in weeks and was generally indicative of an animal cruelty issue in Russia left me somewhat uneasy about supporting the venture. But seriously, its a bear! In the middle of a park in a major cosmopolitan city. Moscow can keep its feral dogs…

I was also concerned for Lindsay’s well-being. As she so eloquently put it,”Did you see that thing’s claws? If that bear decided he didn’t like orange juice anymore I might be missing an eyeball right now. That would not make for a happy birthday.” But fortunately she came out of the process unscathed, inspiring me to pay the 200 Rubles for an opportunity to hug a bear. But just as I was reaching in my purse to pull out the money the bear proceeded to throw up all the juice it had just drunk on itself and there was no way I was going near that.

His honey jar.

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