And I’m Crying in a Russian Parking Lot

Alright, here we go again. Back on the bus. Then onto one of those damn minibuses. Didn’t I just do this? Man, I am sick of these commutes. Ok so I take the orange line to the blue line? No the purple line. Lady, get out of my way. I’m in a hurry and I will go Brooklyn on you. Yeah, I just stared at you buddy. What do you want? Walking through subways really gets me jazzed. Left, right. left, right. I can overtake this chick– watch where your walking! What is this line up ahead? Way too many people, why aren’t they using the other escalator? Ahh it’s broken. If this was New York people would say f*ck it and walk down that escalator. It is pretty far down. I always forget how far down, down down we travel. Bomb shelters. That’s what these double as. In case the Germans bomb us. Or US does– hah! Alright let’s see if I can find a seat so I can at least read. Damn, all babushkas. Means they get first dibs on seats. Looks like I’m standing.

“Staraya darevaya.” Alright my stop. Now what did Julia say? Go out the first exit and head to the parking lot. Ask one of the mini-buses if they go to the Atlantic Business Center. Seems easy enough. Ugh, these escalators are so loooong. Why don’t they have those dust swiffer ladies like in Moscow. Ooh an ad for ski trips. Maybe I should go skiing in Sweden. Oh yeah I’m broke. Do I have my passport? Ok, good. That lady up there just got stopped. Why are they looking in her purse? Weird. Alright that minibus looks promising. I’ll just ask him if its going to the business center.

Why does that kid keep looking at me? Yeah I speak English buddy. Stop giggling. Man this is taking longer than I thought. Maybe I should ask someone. I don’t know. I’m scared. Why is this dude sitting so close to meeee? Scoot over. Ok we have gone way too far. Where am I?

Oh great he forgot about me. At least he said he’d turn around and take me there. Is he turning around now? God I hope so. I have 5 minutes to get there. Looks like I needed that extra 30. Ugh he’s not. Step on– holy crap we almost got t-boned. We are going to die.

Ok I’m here. This doesn’t look right. How many floors. One, two, three….umm I don’t see a tenth. Maybe they are short floors? Doubt it. I’ll ask. How do I get in here? Why are those so many babies….ugh. This is the supermarket…ahh here we go.

Ok Kristen, breathe. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You’re just at the wrong business center. Ask the man where Atlantis is. Tell him the street. Think rationally. There you go. Ask him how to get there. What? Go back and go to a different metro station? That can’t be right. That means I’m more than 40 minutes away from where I’m supposed to be. I’m calling that contact number again. Efff. She doesn’t even know where I am. Where am I? This street isn’t even on my map. The Liner business center? Is this a joke?

Alright wipe your eyes. Shake it off. Your are woman, hear you roar. Now which bus stop should I go to? Maybe I’ll just flag down a minibus. Should I just flag it like a taxi? Oh good its pulling over. Alright these people are looking at my like I’m crazy. I must be really far away from the street I need. Ok ok stop crying…oh screw it. Crap its the student calling.

At least now I don’t have to worry about being late. But ugh having to cancel my first meeting. Where is that bus? Where am I? Oh god that lady just saw me crying. I have allergies ok! Leave me alone. Another minibus is coming. I’ll ask this one.

Five minibus….I don’t think I’m getting to my street or back to the metro. I think that little kid on the last bus saw me wipe a tear. There goes my sassy American facade. Crying in a parking lot. More like mudlot. Ugh.  Guess I’ll start walking? God its dark. Umm ok this direction feels right. More lights over there. Ok ok so I had to cancel my first lesson hopefully they won’t fire me. Try to hide your tears Kristen, people can see you. Maybe I’ll pull my scarf over my nose. Ok yeah this is good. Alright haven’t seen a bus in awhile. Holy crap its Neo. Hah! I wish I had someone here to share my celeb spot. He’s kind of creepy up close. Walk faster. Hmm should I turn around? Where AM I? Why doesn’t my iPhone workkk. Eff it I don’t need. I can do this.

Whoa nelly that is a feral dog running my way. Ok I am officially in the middle of goddamn nowhere. I’ll just stand here and wait for a bus. Hopefully one comes my wayy– oh that one has its lights off. Holy crap is that a feral bulldog? Naw, it has a leash. Alright 179A approaching. I think this will take me to the metro.

Success. I hope I don’t look like I’ve been crying. Oh this guy is kind of cute. Doesn’t look very Russian. Man Russia sucks. I hate these damn buses. Why did I move here? How did I get so lost? This is not cool man. I should not be sent to boofu to make $30. Ok don’t start crying again. That guy will see. Yeah, yeah. No tears. You’re in Russia! You’re stronger than this. You just got a little lost. Holy crap that was a sign for the metro but he didn’t stop. Efff. Should I say something. Ugh why am I shy all of the sudden? I am going to end up at that damn business center again. I’ll get off at the next stop and walk back. Remember the direction of the metro. Nice work lady. You needed that metro stop too. I’m getting off with you.

Which metro is this? Komandanskii Prospekt? How did I end up HERE? Oh dear. I’m at the last stop on the line. I seriously went the wrong way. Well at least I know how to get home. Alright subways. I can do this. Power strut a little, there you go. No one knows you were sobbing in an industrial park earlier. No worries. Walk it off, walk it off. Good, here comes the train.


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